University of Michigan - Flint

Abuse is sometimes difficult to detect because it is manipulative and usually begins very subtly. Often abusive tactics are disguised as acts of love and care. The following are some questions to ask yourself about whether you are in an abusive relationship.

Are you…

• Frightened, at times, by your partner’s behavior?
• Afraid to disagree with your partner?
• Constantly apologizing for your partner’s behavior (especially when he/she has treated you badly)?
• Verbally degraded by your partner?
• Not able to see your friends or family because of your partner’s jealousy?
• Afraid to break up with your partner because he/she has threatened to hurt you, someone else, or him/herself?

Do you…

• Feel like you must justify everything you do to avoid your partner’s anger?
• Avoid family or social situations because you are afraid of how your partner will act?

Have you…

• Been hit, kicked, shoved, thrown down, choked, or grabbed?
• Had things thrown at you?
• Forced to have sex or engage in any sexual acts against your will?

If you have answered "yes" to any of these questions, you may be in an abusive relationship. Perhaps you are now out of a violent relationship, but are still dealing with the pain. In either situation, there are places you can go for help and support. Please contact us, or refer to our Resources section.

Sexual assault is as any form of unwanted sexual contact obtained without consent and/or obtained through the use of force, threat of force, intimidation, or coercion.

How to get help?

The Women’s Educational Center supports a survivor’s right to choose whether to report a sexual assault. However, a prompt report may strengthen the case for prosecution. With that said, it is never too late to make a report or seek help from other agencies. Learn more about reporting a sexual assault here.

Reporting Options

• Criminal Report
• Informational Report 
• Where to Report a Sexual Assault 
• Things to Know about Making a Report

Important Points to Remember

• It is the survivor’s right to choose whether to report the sexual assault.
• A prompt report may strengthen the case for prosecution.
• Many sexual assault survivors do not report the offense immediately. It is never too late to make a report or to seek help from other agencies.
• Preserve the evidence. If reporting a sexual assault immediately, it may be advantageous not to wash, bathe, or brush your teeth, remove sheets or clothes, straighten up, or touch anything in the area where the assault took place.
• Seek information and support. The WEC supports the survivor’s right to choose whether to report the sexual assault. If a survivor needs more information to make a decision, the WEC can provide that and help facilitate the reporting process.

How to help a survivor

It can be a very challenging experience when someone discloses a sexual assault; however, knowing how to be supportive can be crucial in a survivor’s healing process. There are two things you need to think about: how you can support the survivor, and how you can take care of yourself.

• Believe the survivor
• Be respectful of privacy and confidentiality
• Provide information
• Let the survivor make her⁄his own decisions
• Be aware of your desire to provide reassurance
• Remind the survivor that you care
• Give the survivor space if s/he needs it
• Be a good listener

Stalking is a crime that encompasses a variety of behaviors that may occur on or off campus or in cyberspace. Stalkers use different behaviors to establish and/or maintain contact with victims, to intimidate, and ultimately to try to control the person who is the target of their behavior. Stalkers may be current or former partners, classmates, coworkers, friends, or strangers, and most victims report that they know the stalker.

Stalking may include, but is not limited to, the following types of behaviors:

• repeatedly visiting or "dropping by" uninvited;
• sending anonymous letters or other types of mailings such as e-mail;
• making persistent phone calls with or without leaving a message;
• giving unwanted gifts;
• following the victim while walking, driving or taking the campus bus, to class, or in other settings;
• watching and/or spying on the victim;
• writing threatening comments or graffiti where the victim will see it;
• showing up wherever the victim is, tracking the victim's schedule.

If You Believe You Are Being Stalked

If you are being stalked, you can report this to your local law enforcement agency. If you wish to make a report of stalking to the criminal or civil justice system, here are steps to take:

• Cease and Desist Request
• Evidence Collection and Log Keeping
• Anti-Stalking Restraining Order
• Civil Action
• Making a Police Report

Important factors to remember:

• it is helpful to keep a journal of the stalker's behaviors, including dates, times, and places of incidences, and what occurred;
• it may be helpful to tell your friends, roommates, employer, and anyone else with whom you spend time as a safety precaution;
• if you live on-campus, it may be helpful to tell residence life staff as a safety precaution;
• it is helpful to keep evidence of the stalker's behavior, such as gifts, letters, phone messages, etc. Stalking victim kits are designed to assist with evidence collection, and are available from SAS/CVA.

If you are a survivor domestic violence, sexual assault, or stalking and would like assistance please call the WEC at 810.237.6648 or the YWCA helpline at 810.238.SAFE.